Learning From Others

I have a cousin (3 years younger than me) who's studying catering and hostelery, she now in a mandatory internship in a 1 star hotel in Barcelona. I look at her pictures and she is surrounded by friends, and by her boyfriend (just thinking that I live in the same city as the person I like and we never meet...) who went there to be with her. 

I sometimes think to myself, how myself, compared to my cousin, for example, am actually weak. I am always afraid to do things alone. I'm just not used to it. Doing things alone is not worth it. My cousin and I, despite not being close, are very alike in some aspects of our personal (it our family special gene, me, my cousin, my late grandfather, my mother, we are all have the same characteristic personality trait).

My point here is. Of course going from Portugal to Spain is a lot less expensive than going to Japan. Of course going for a paid 2-month internship, with classmates is easier than going alone. But still, I admire my cousin for her courage, proactivity and forward looking. She only applied for 5 star hotels, smart huh?

I actually feel envy but happy for her at the same time. She had friends visit her, she's having the time of her life doing what she loves. I'm sure she'll have a massively awesome job in the future. It's written all over her. She beautiful, proactive, popular, knows languages.

It's only by observing and living with different, and similar, people that one grows. And I want to be more like my cousin. I think that despite our similarities, her up-to-now life experiences made her a very strong person. She's very popular, she goes out at night, she's in a carnival group surrounded by friends. 

And this is the so-called social pressure. My cousin is the perfect example of a successful Portuguese (at her age range). If I were now in Portugal I would be much more outgoing I'm sure, but I would still avoid going out at night (just not for me).

There's still something off in me. I feel myself in that state of mind frequently, but because I'm mostly alone it kind of fades out. Meh...

"Jenny From The Block"

Possibility (ENERGY!!!) and Reflective Thinking

Like OH MY GOD!, could this be the source of my ruthless energy for the past year?! I'm sure it is! I used to have a very negative way thinking. Everything seemed impossible and stuff (typical portuguese, come to think of it, some friends show exactly the same pattern, everything seems out of our reach)... And now I am all "Let's do this", "I can do it", "of course, you can do it!" "you kidding, no one beats me!". And wow, the human being is awesome! Such a change! Unbelievable! I wouldn't believe myself if I weren't the one who changed. 

I now BELIEVE. I have FAITH. TRUST. In myself, in my abilities, in my senses. 

And now on Reflective Thinking. Now here it is...we take everything for granted. We don't look back, we don't appreciate things.

 Remember to reflect on your activities, on your day.

This is something I'm going to implement on my day to day basis. Every time, set aside a few minutes (probably before falling asleep) to think about the day or week. And also make some time to think of the possibilities I have in the several aspects of life.

A Few Things to Remember

Don't Strive for Certainty.

This is kind of meaningful to me. Living in Japan has made me realize how annoying uncertainty can be. Cultural differences and its consequences suck. But they make you grow and broaden perspectives. From now on I will try to embrace encertainy and instead of engaging in deep thinking, I'll just do whatever my instincts tell me to (unless they tell me to think - I think this will happen again...but I'll try at least to be aware in the moment).

Learn From Every Experience

I definetely need to try new things. To try and to fail more. I am planning some new things for the next few months. I also need to improve human relationships, my group of friends is pretty much perfect, but I want to go out more with them so I litererally need to work more.

Give Yourself Permission to Expand Your World

This is what I already do well. Books on different subjects. Different TV shows. Asking questions to friends from other cultures and to myself. I strive to break my own status quo. Not necessarily the patterns the society demands, but my own. I still need to reach new heights, with new experiences and new feelings, as I have mentioned above.

Living in a country with a culture completely different from my own is rather important and I think that what I'm learning here will make an impact in me for the rest of my life. 

From the book How Successful People Think, an easy to read and thought-provoking book. I like it.

Do It Anyway

“The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”

― Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council

Finished LEAN IN!

I finished reading Sheryl Sandberg's book. I had some hopes for this book, and it was very good in the beginning. It had been some time since the last time I had read a book on leadership, so I guess that reading motivating stuff that I could relate to made me very enthusiastic. 

Nevertheless, as I continued reading, it was like, "I already know this". Don't get me wrong, the book is very good! I guess me and Sheryl share the same ideas. The thing is, Sheryl is american, and I am portuguese. I come from a femininist culture (more blurriness between genders behaviors), whilst Mrs. Sandberg comes from a masculine culture (the gender roles are more defined). That said, nothing in this book was particularly "new" to me. Because I share the same views on gender differneces. But what I liked the most was the encouragement. She beautifully wrote encouragement words that can fire up anyone.

And...she actually mentioned and cited Tina Fey's book! What a coincidence! I wrote some posts ago I wanted to read both these books. And in the end, Sandberg actually quotes Fey's words! Next read? Bossypants!

Sheryl is my role model. She's beautiful. She's successful. She's smart.

Changing the subject a bit...I've been thinking about something else lately.
Everything I read about Japan, before coming here, was written mostly by american people. So I was seeing Japan, from that perspective, and not really, as a portuguese person, coming from Portugal. I was being influenced by the comparison between japanese and american values. And Portugal, has some values that are similar to those of Japan. 

Push, push, push

...and keep pushing. Keep insisting. (And nope, I am not referring to constipation.)

Eventually, the brain ends up falling in the pattern and you become "it".

It's 1 am and I'm here writing this. I guess I'm too excited. I had the most amazing coffee a few hours later and now I can't sleep. I read a bit, because reading before sleep makes me very sleepy, it's like I can't even hold for more than 2 minutes. But nope. Not today. So I got bored and decided to try my luck and write this.

I feel that having an entrepreneurial and just plain positive environment at home as provided me the mind shift I have been happily living. It's so exciting! I had never seen myself as positive and confident (or 自信満々 like I'm lately often said to be!).

I had very narrow way of thinking (everything seemed out of reach, impossible to a low life human being such as my unawaken self) and couldn't, perhaps, even think for myself. I was always very scared of school work because I thought it was out of my league. But now, its like, just because I feel confident that things just come out more easily. The brain is no longer constricted.

My environment is basically books on self improvement, entrepreneurship, and other things I like that allow me to learn. Then there's my ipod filled with podcasts from lifestyle entrepreneurs such as Jillian Michaels and Lewis Howes. 

As for music, that's a secret, but pop, techno and jazz are perhaps the most common genres. Then, there's my classmates. I like making people feel good and laugh, and I am now able to do so. As Charlie Chaplin once said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted." 

As for the TV I watch, pretty much sitcoms only (watching the last season, 7, of Tina Fey's 30 Rock) but lately I've been watching crime drama, CSI (I stopped watching several years ago on season 5, and I have re-watched those seasons and I'm going to continue watching until the present day episodes. CSI is great because I can learn quite some stuff. I've always had this dream of becoming, not a policewoman, but still have some sort of job related to the law enforcement. I think that my great sense of justice comes from there.

So this positive self inflicted environment, has created the necessary changes in my brain to allow me to become the person I wanted to become. Of course, I'm far (and will always be) from my ideal, but I can now say that I have become an interesting person. I used to be afraid of boring people (I think that my late self was having a severe unconscious depression), but now I just lighten up the room with my presence. 100% change! 

And it's great to be able to define my moods and having control over them. 

Haha. 

See if I can fall asleep after this...

One year Gap

Here's how much my walks have changed.

Last Summer

This Summer

Almost one year has passed since I got my Kobo (September), and from all the reading (50 books so far!) I've made on leadership, psychology, self improvement, etc that I've come to become a completely different person from that I used to be. 

I am much more positive, energetic, outgoing, smarter, funny, witty etc! Read books people, read books and find your hidden strenghts! Light your fire!

I Told Myself

Ever since I was a kid that I always dreamed big. I used to read Scrooge McDuck (my favorite character, but I and also read other Disney characters comics) rather frequently and I think that my money management skills (if you can call it that) come from his influence.

I told myself I wouldn't let myself feel inferior to boys, and I did it.

I told myself I would play soccer well to play with the boys, and I did it.

I told myself I would become physically (at that time, never considered the emotional side) strong. and I did it.

I told myself I would be best at the English class, and I did it.

I told myself I would not stop at the 24 minute runs at the physical education class, and I didn't stop (unlike my girl friends and classmates).

I told myself I was going to know Japanese, and I did it.

I told myself I was going to be the best at the Japanese class, and I did it.

I told myself I would come to Japan no matter what, and I did it. 

 

"I made it by being tougher than the toughies, and smarter than the smarties! And I made it square!"

Having this said, I think I can conclude that I am competition driven. When I was in Portugal, I would look at the students at my favorite classes and feel threatned because I wanted to be the best. So I had no choice but work to be the best. They most likely couldn't care less about that, but this is how I felt. 

On one side this sucks, or at least the initial pressure and stress from feeling threatned, but the process of striving to win and accomplishing it, makes it kind of worth it, because it is in these times that I am the most creative and productive.

In Japan I don't feel this competition, I get motivated by books, and then discouraged by the confusion in my head when I think about writing a thesis. I was not made to work sitting not on a desk all day, I need constant human (and non human too) stimulation. Specially lately I feel that there's this beast inside me eagerly waiting to come out (oh no, not again...! haha) and be put working somewhere where I can just do something to help making some product or company more profitable. But of course incentives are necessary.

I also told myself I would be someone important at a company, will the pattern continue?

“Being confident and believing in your own self-worth is necessary to achieving your potential.”
― Sheryl Sandberg

BE1 PODCAST

Check this out on Chirbit

BE1 PODCAST [2min] What is this? Leadership, Psychology and much more!

This is going to be a really short podcast, because sometimes I feel I can't express myself through writing only and feel something is lacking. I want people to listen to my real me, to feel who I am.

I decided to make this not only to see to what extent I can express myself in English, and to get better at it, but also to grow my communication skill and see if I can go beyond my shyness, to make myself more confident!

Thank you for listening, I hope you enjoy it as much as I will!