The obsession complex

When I was in college and learning japanese, by myself, I once told my teacher about my "methods". Some days later a friend of mine came to me telling my that our teacher had told him that I was "obsessed". I was "obsessed" because I was listening to japanese podcasts. Watching japanese tv series. Anyway, I was "obsessed".

The word "obsessed" has a pejorative connotation. So I remember I was not happy at all with it. I felt hurt for having one of my pseudo role models talking that way about myself to other people.

I decided to make this post because lately I have been reading a lot. Mostly about Branding and the human being (leadership, heart, emotions, psychology).

And I am reading for several reasons.

① I am in a master's degree and need to "catch up" with the Branding/Marketing subject because I have graduated in East Asian Studies and therefore have no Branding/Marketing background (though I did took a class on Marketing focused on China/Japan as it was part of the curriculum - we had to create a product and a marketing mix to sell that product in china, my team was lucky, we got the best product - Porto Wine).

② I am genuinely interested in these subjects and therefore I feel good when I learn about them.

③ It will be useful for my thesis.

④ I'm seriously learning a lot about myself. And developing new mental pathways. And this self-improvement thing is actually addictive.

So, I have been reading for around 3 hours everyday (While I walk. My walks are my reading and listening to music time) and I have been learning so much that I sometimes feel like "holy shit, I think I could be a brand manager for some asian brand trying to expand".

The other day I was reading at night, during a walk in place here in Kyoto (close to where I live) that has a more urban feeling, buildings on both sides, traffic, lights, etc, while I was seeing that I felt to inspired that I started thinking about this obsession thing. I was having one of those "moments", the "flow", the "high", the "inspiration", the "creativity", the "DREAM". See, I come from a small town and was always inspired by the "City". Watching the big picture from above, from high places. I love doing it. It inspires me. So I was picturing myself working in this area, working in some tall building, I started imagining myself with a team, etc.

I want to know about these things as much as possible. I want to be good in what I do. I come from a country where competition is highly educated, if you don't have a bachelors degree at the very least you have no future. So my generation is all educated. I would even say that a masters is the minimum required nowadays.

And then I thought to myself. Is this an obsession? I'm reading about leadership, about branding and marketing and etc, am I obsessed with this? Well I think I am. But not in a "obsession"-with-a-pejorative-meaning way.

I just like doing this. It makes me feel good. I'm learning. Just like when I was studying japanese. I felt good when I was trying to improve my japanese. I had a purpose, I wanted to be fluent. And still haven't stopped. I live in Japan now. I don't have that at home immersion environment anymore because I live here now. Despite what some people might think, judging from some previous posts where I was talking about culture shock experiences. But I also have a mind and self respect. And it's difficult to manage both "respects". And knowing that the japanese have a tendency to agree with you even if they don't mean it also holds me back considerably. I don't want to have to read those fake facial expressions. Those innuendos. IT HURTS. And I don't want to be the reason why a japanese would suppress what he/she has/wants to do. I don't want to bother. I don't want to be a hindrance. I noticed a very similar behavioral pattern with an american girl I met here.

And I just got carried way by the japanese culture off topic. Sorry.

But anyway, I saw this picture on twitter today and decided to think "This is a sign. I thought about this and now this picture comes up. I should write something about it."

This. What I'm doing for the past 3 months is what I have become. Indeed, one has to surround him/herself with the people, things that will make you, change you into what want to be(come).

Purpose. Passion. Hope. Desire.

 Dedication.