Push, push, push

...and keep pushing. Keep insisting. (And nope, I am not referring to constipation.)

Eventually, the brain ends up falling in the pattern and you become "it".

It's 1 am and I'm here writing this. I guess I'm too excited. I had the most amazing coffee a few hours later and now I can't sleep. I read a bit, because reading before sleep makes me very sleepy, it's like I can't even hold for more than 2 minutes. But nope. Not today. So I got bored and decided to try my luck and write this.

I feel that having an entrepreneurial and just plain positive environment at home as provided me the mind shift I have been happily living. It's so exciting! I had never seen myself as positive and confident (or 自信満々 like I'm lately often said to be!).

I had very narrow way of thinking (everything seemed out of reach, impossible to a low life human being such as my unawaken self) and couldn't, perhaps, even think for myself. I was always very scared of school work because I thought it was out of my league. But now, its like, just because I feel confident that things just come out more easily. The brain is no longer constricted.

My environment is basically books on self improvement, entrepreneurship, and other things I like that allow me to learn. Then there's my ipod filled with podcasts from lifestyle entrepreneurs such as Jillian Michaels and Lewis Howes. 

As for music, that's a secret, but pop, techno and jazz are perhaps the most common genres. Then, there's my classmates. I like making people feel good and laugh, and I am now able to do so. As Charlie Chaplin once said, "A day without laughter is a day wasted." 

As for the TV I watch, pretty much sitcoms only (watching the last season, 7, of Tina Fey's 30 Rock) but lately I've been watching crime drama, CSI (I stopped watching several years ago on season 5, and I have re-watched those seasons and I'm going to continue watching until the present day episodes. CSI is great because I can learn quite some stuff. I've always had this dream of becoming, not a policewoman, but still have some sort of job related to the law enforcement. I think that my great sense of justice comes from there.

So this positive self inflicted environment, has created the necessary changes in my brain to allow me to become the person I wanted to become. Of course, I'm far (and will always be) from my ideal, but I can now say that I have become an interesting person. I used to be afraid of boring people (I think that my late self was having a severe unconscious depression), but now I just lighten up the room with my presence. 100% change! 

And it's great to be able to define my moods and having control over them. 

Haha. 

See if I can fall asleep after this...