Learning From Others

I have a cousin (3 years younger than me) who's studying catering and hostelery, she now in a mandatory internship in a 1 star hotel in Barcelona. I look at her pictures and she is surrounded by friends, and by her boyfriend (just thinking that I live in the same city as the person I like and we never meet...) who went there to be with her. 

I sometimes think to myself, how myself, compared to my cousin, for example, am actually weak. I am always afraid to do things alone. I'm just not used to it. Doing things alone is not worth it. My cousin and I, despite not being close, are very alike in some aspects of our personal (it our family special gene, me, my cousin, my late grandfather, my mother, we are all have the same characteristic personality trait).

My point here is. Of course going from Portugal to Spain is a lot less expensive than going to Japan. Of course going for a paid 2-month internship, with classmates is easier than going alone. But still, I admire my cousin for her courage, proactivity and forward looking. She only applied for 5 star hotels, smart huh?

I actually feel envy but happy for her at the same time. She had friends visit her, she's having the time of her life doing what she loves. I'm sure she'll have a massively awesome job in the future. It's written all over her. She beautiful, proactive, popular, knows languages.

It's only by observing and living with different, and similar, people that one grows. And I want to be more like my cousin. I think that despite our similarities, her up-to-now life experiences made her a very strong person. She's very popular, she goes out at night, she's in a carnival group surrounded by friends. 

And this is the so-called social pressure. My cousin is the perfect example of a successful Portuguese (at her age range). If I were now in Portugal I would be much more outgoing I'm sure, but I would still avoid going out at night (just not for me).

There's still something off in me. I feel myself in that state of mind frequently, but because I'm mostly alone it kind of fades out. Meh...