Amazing how I need the hustle and bustle of a cafe environment (drinking coffee and eating a toast, people talking, tv, the sound of coffee making machines, people coming in and going out all the time) in the morning in order to get my brain working and personality to fully wake up. If I stay home I can't "start". I need movement.

There's a lot of people going to Carnival today, so don't mind the funny looking people.

What does this mean?
My heart beats faster with this many people. If I'm in a place alone I have to be the one making it beat faster (inducing excitement, perhaps?). Because I notice that I go down when I'm in a place or situation in which I'll see no people. I've written about this before. It's just something I'm trying to fully understand.

I guess this is good.

I have a theory, I think that when I'm in the more individualistic self (part of the brain that makes me use english instead of portuguese - because in Portuguese I have an established identity to the people I know, whilst in english, I don't because I don't know anyone who knows me as an english speaker, therefore I am able to be myself fully) I'm stronger. In Portugal people know me with x characteristics I have since I was a child and therefore I can't change they ways I behave with them not how they behave with me most of the times.

But it's just like I heard yesterday in "The Walking Dead" - "Got to stay who you are, not who you were."

edit: actually, I think I haven't changed, rather I just came back to what I used to be as a child.

So, X (had a self) - Y (selfless) - X (back to the core self I was before Y)