The Power of Words

This is perhaps one of the biggest changes (everything is related though...) I've made in the past year.

@JillianMichaels

Standing still is hard

I have this horrible tendency to make comparisons (starting to having more consciousness and therefore control over it though). I always compare myself with people I am afraid that are better than me, or that effectively are better than me (for example classmates from my undergraduate course). And this kind of gives me some anxiety, and drive to improve.

However, today, while talking to a friend of mine from my home town (one of my best friends and whom I can trust), now living in Scotland (before he was in Norway, I've written about him before), on skype, I compared myself with people from my hometown.

And man! Me and him, we are two fucking rock stars! I mean, in my hometown, a small city in the central region of Portugal, there's not much place for ambitious dreams. Everyone ends up working for the minimum wage in some factory, or supermarket of cafe, and even those are already full. But we, we took a risk coming abroad, to live outside of our comfort zones. We followed our passions, the passions we have since we were kids. We want to do what we love, because we have something we love. 

And I'm here talking, I had everything. My friend has no University diploma! He worked a few years to save money to take the course (to become a flight attendant)! He more than myself, fought and fought hard! Talking to him inspires me. And makes me want to become better. To become stronger.

No, I don't compare myself to this friend, for starters we know each other since we were 5 years old, and we aren't even competing against each other for a job.

We were kind of the two weirdos throughout school, the anti social kids, the kids who were more reserved, the kids who liked video-games, the paragon of anti-popularity, but now, who's who? Not saying we are popular, that's the last thing I want, but looking at the kids who bullied us, they are below average. And that was actually proven in a study.

S/he who laughs last laughs best.

 I still don't have a job, but I can't fucking wait to see myself wearing a conservative skirt and blazer! Corporate style! Sheryl Sandberg and Tina Fey inspired!

You just wait a little more, World!

#OITNB

My private leadership theory school. eReader non pictured : /

I feel narcissistic today.

Feel more alive

Today I made promising self discovery. Let's just say that up until know I was keeping my mind closed when it comes to possibilities. I made the same mistake when I was in Portugal and I kept on doing it. Until today. Until a few minutes ago.

I just asked myself a few questions and just like that, by answering them, I had an epiphany, a spark of insight and creative thinking.

Anyways, here's an article I look up every now and then.

40 Ways to Feel More Alive

1. Tell someone how you really feel about them instead of waiting because you’re scared.

2. Tell someone what you really want and need instead of building up resentment.

3. Share your fears publicly, in a blog post for example, and ask the community to keep you accountable in overcoming them.

4. Tell a friend your greatest dream, and then ask them to hold you accountable in pursuing it.

5. Admit to a friend how you really feel about how you spend your time—then brainstorm about ways to improve it.

6. Introduce yourself to someone you’ve been dying to meet, even if you feel nervous.

7. Ask someone who’s done what you want to do for advice and encouragement.

8. Tell your boss what you can do instead of wondering if you’ll ever move forward professionally.

9.  Or tell your boss his or her services are no longer needed—then finally start pursuing your passion.

10. Tell yourself the truth instead of lying to yourself about the changes you want to make in your life.

11. Sign up for a class to learn a skill you’ve always thought would be fun.

12. If you can’t afford a class, look on Craigslist for free events related to that interest.

13. Ask a friend to teach you to do something you don’t know how to do—and offer to teach them something else in return.

14. Take that new class at your gym instead of worrying that you won’t be able to keep up.

15. Buy a new or used instrument and look on for instructional videos on YouTube.

16. Think of something you’d enjoy creating—a blanket, a song, or a small piece of furniture—and then do some research today to take the first step in doing it.

17. Write a blog post or take some photos and submit them to your favorite website.

18. Invite a few of your friends to play a sport you’ve always wanted to try, even if you fear you’ll seem uncoordinated.

19. Blast your favorite song and try a dance style you’ve always admired. Nothing makes you feel alive like getting your blood pumping!

20. Make a list of things you think you’d enjoy, and then pick one you’ve never done to try this weekend.

21. Plan a vacation to that destination you’ve always dreamed about visiting.

22. If you can’t afford that, research cheap ways to travel—staying in hostels, volunteering abroad, or transporting someone else’s car, for example.

23. Issue yourself a “life ticket.” According to Tiny Buddha contributor Jamie Hoang, we find ways to pay tickets when we get them because we have to. Think of travel in that same way—and be resourceful to make it happen.

24. Take a weekend road trip to somewhere close you’ve always wanted to visit.

25. Write down your three favorite hobbies and for each, a place you’ve always wanted to try (i.e.: a beautiful beach an hour away for surfing). Plan to go this weekend.

26. Invite friends to a restaurant, bar, or other establishment you’ve wanted to try, but have avoided in favor or familiarity. (Once you invite other people, you’ll be less inclined to change your mind last-minute!)

27. If you’ve avoided going to a new spot because it’s expensive, start a “fun night” savings jar today, and make trying that place a priority.

28. Make a list of fun “staycation” ideas (for daytrips in your area). Schedule at least two of them for the next month.

29. If there’s a conference you’ve always wanted to attend, book your ticket for next year, or see if you can volunteer there to get free or discounted attendance.

30. Plan some type of creativity-driven travel project—once a week or even month, take photos, draw, or write in a new spot you’ve wanted to visit.

31. Jot down three qualities you’d like to possess, then three choices or activities that coincide with them (i.e.: adventurous—white water rafting). Make a plan to do that thing.

32. Enlist a friend to help you face it fear, whether it’s quitting your job or skydiving.

33. Create a positive affirmation to replace a limiting belief (i.e.: tell yourself, “I feel confident around new people” instead of “I can’t meet new people—I’m too nervous”). Then use that new belief to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

34. Think of someone you admire and write down three things they do that you don’t think you can. Now make it a personal mission to prove yourself wrong.

35. Think of something huge you’ve wanted to do, but feared you can’t. Now shrink it down to something smaller but related (i.e.: climb Mt. Everest could start with join a rock climbing gym.) Do that smaller thing today. It’s a start!

36. Ask a friend to describe your potential. Find the parts that make your heart race with excitement, and then take one small step today to work toward that possibility.

37. Set a 30-day challenge—i.e. write 5 pages every day without worrying if they’re any good; after 30 days, you’ll have a first draft of a 150-page novel.

38. Ask yourself, “What would I try if I thought I wouldn’t fail?” Take one tiny step toward that goal today.

39. Ask a friend or your significant other to design an “opposite night” for you—a night when the two of you do things completely opposed to what you usually do.

40. Share something you want to do but think you can’t in the comment section here. Just putting it out there is a great start!

The Paradox of Flow

This is why I want a job, fast. And the reason why summer vacations suck. In Portugal, when I got bored I would go to my family's business shop and just stay there all morning, or all afternoon or even all day (spending some time at the cafe too).

From the book "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience".

As this book has taught me, I'm going to make the best use of my time to gain new insights through reading, to relax and to practice my comedy and reasoning skills though tv dramas.

Learning From Others

I have a cousin (3 years younger than me) who's studying catering and hostelery, she now in a mandatory internship in a 1 star hotel in Barcelona. I look at her pictures and she is surrounded by friends, and by her boyfriend (just thinking that I live in the same city as the person I like and we never meet...) who went there to be with her. 

I sometimes think to myself, how myself, compared to my cousin, for example, am actually weak. I am always afraid to do things alone. I'm just not used to it. Doing things alone is not worth it. My cousin and I, despite not being close, are very alike in some aspects of our personal (it our family special gene, me, my cousin, my late grandfather, my mother, we are all have the same characteristic personality trait).

My point here is. Of course going from Portugal to Spain is a lot less expensive than going to Japan. Of course going for a paid 2-month internship, with classmates is easier than going alone. But still, I admire my cousin for her courage, proactivity and forward looking. She only applied for 5 star hotels, smart huh?

I actually feel envy but happy for her at the same time. She had friends visit her, she's having the time of her life doing what she loves. I'm sure she'll have a massively awesome job in the future. It's written all over her. She beautiful, proactive, popular, knows languages.

It's only by observing and living with different, and similar, people that one grows. And I want to be more like my cousin. I think that despite our similarities, her up-to-now life experiences made her a very strong person. She's very popular, she goes out at night, she's in a carnival group surrounded by friends. 

And this is the so-called social pressure. My cousin is the perfect example of a successful Portuguese (at her age range). If I were now in Portugal I would be much more outgoing I'm sure, but I would still avoid going out at night (just not for me).

There's still something off in me. I feel myself in that state of mind frequently, but because I'm mostly alone it kind of fades out. Meh...

"Jenny From The Block"

Possibility (ENERGY!!!) and Reflective Thinking

Like OH MY GOD!, could this be the source of my ruthless energy for the past year?! I'm sure it is! I used to have a very negative way thinking. Everything seemed impossible and stuff (typical portuguese, come to think of it, some friends show exactly the same pattern, everything seems out of our reach)... And now I am all "Let's do this", "I can do it", "of course, you can do it!" "you kidding, no one beats me!". And wow, the human being is awesome! Such a change! Unbelievable! I wouldn't believe myself if I weren't the one who changed. 

I now BELIEVE. I have FAITH. TRUST. In myself, in my abilities, in my senses. 

And now on Reflective Thinking. Now here it is...we take everything for granted. We don't look back, we don't appreciate things.

 Remember to reflect on your activities, on your day.

This is something I'm going to implement on my day to day basis. Every time, set aside a few minutes (probably before falling asleep) to think about the day or week. And also make some time to think of the possibilities I have in the several aspects of life.

A Few Things to Remember

Don't Strive for Certainty.

This is kind of meaningful to me. Living in Japan has made me realize how annoying uncertainty can be. Cultural differences and its consequences suck. But they make you grow and broaden perspectives. From now on I will try to embrace encertainy and instead of engaging in deep thinking, I'll just do whatever my instincts tell me to (unless they tell me to think - I think this will happen again...but I'll try at least to be aware in the moment).

Learn From Every Experience

I definetely need to try new things. To try and to fail more. I am planning some new things for the next few months. I also need to improve human relationships, my group of friends is pretty much perfect, but I want to go out more with them so I litererally need to work more.

Give Yourself Permission to Expand Your World

This is what I already do well. Books on different subjects. Different TV shows. Asking questions to friends from other cultures and to myself. I strive to break my own status quo. Not necessarily the patterns the society demands, but my own. I still need to reach new heights, with new experiences and new feelings, as I have mentioned above.

Living in a country with a culture completely different from my own is rather important and I think that what I'm learning here will make an impact in me for the rest of my life. 

From the book How Successful People Think, an easy to read and thought-provoking book. I like it.

Do It Anyway

“The Paradoxical Commandments

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”

― Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council