2012年9月6日
setting goals, boredom and emotional connection (and associated success)
I'm inspired now, I have a lot I want to write about, but..
...First. Let me apologize for my countdown posts. For those who actually read this, you know that I'm leaving to Japan soon, as the posts count, in 4 days. So I just want to post in japanese, because you know, it's special for me, that how I started this blog, and that's how I'll enter Japan, in Japanese.
But I also do know, that my writing differs considerably in both english and japanese. When I write in english, it's a strong self who's writing, a more confident self. On the other hand, when I write in Japanese, my posts tend to be more sentimental and more personal. This disparity is also a thing I intend on making disappear (but I'll talk about it later on the post).
It's been a time of a lot of thinking, a lot of solitude. I'm in summer vacations. My friends from university are either in China or live far from me. My friends from my hometown are either working or with other friends.
I feel lonely, classes are over, my friends are gone, I'm going alone to Japan. That's why I like twitter so much. It gives me the opportunity to interact not only with people with the same interests I have but it also gives me the chance to actually learn something on subjects I'm interested about and to put my japanese to practice.
But anyway, let's get to the bottom of the tittle and shut up about the rest.
I took a walk.
As I previously said, I like to take walks. I can enjoy music, podcasts and podcasts that lead me to more deep and creative thinking. And I say creative thinking because what I just listened made me think about it and it actually led me to other things to which I can connect and relate.
Think about it like this. You know something, and that is it, you just know it. But then, you learn something new that you can connect to what you already know. And! And that makes you feel like you are broadening your thoughts, your knowledge, your brain (like seriously, this is probably normal, but whenever this happens I feel something moving in my brain).
My first point. Though it's really all connected but still...Setting goals.
Setting specific goals.
I've written a lot on what I want to do in Japan. It's true I have and I do want to do a lot. But I did not mention specific goals. Gotta be specific, concrete, 具体的, am I right?
Obviously I intend on studying Japanese. Of course, I mean, who doesn't?! I remember, when I first entered college my main purpose, goal or dream, was to be fluent in both chinese and japanese. And with those skills I'd just work with translation or whatever.
But times have changed, I myself have changed a bit (or maybe a bit more than just a bit). Back then I was a brainless kid. I still am, Really! I'm probably the stupidest and dumb person you'd ever know, if you could get the chance of meeting me. But now a little more "brainful" than I used to.
Continuing...
I've come to have a grown interest in Japanese culture. I'm gonna do my best to behave as a japanese person and to "become" japanese. I want to work with japanese my whole life, so when in rome, do as romans do, right?
The japanese are a very special, and very sensitive people. I want to "become" japanese so that I don't do harmful things to them. So I'll study japanese culture more deeply through books, though people and though japanese culture itself (as one I was told on twitter, the so called "branching" - my main interests on "palpable" japanese culture are calligraphy and Haiku (the sensitiveness, to which I can to some extent relate).
Among those two, I'll pick Haiku. Small poems, That will force me somehow studying classic japanese (yay, finally going to put N1 grammar to practice!)
I mean, let's face it, gotta be realistic. setting loads of goals will lead you nowhere. So, gotta focus first in what you really want to, and then comes the rest.
As for the japanese language. the following are my main goals.
I want to be able to write this kind of posts in Japanese. I haven't tried it yet, but I know it'd take a lot of time.
I can understand keigo pretty well, but I rarely have the chance to use it, so I actually want to see to what extent I can use it in Japan (had to write quite some emails in keigo this summer).
As I said before, Haiku will eventually lead me to Classical japanese.
And to improve my overall japanese through living and studying the regular way - sentence which, will lead me to my next point.
Study. Study is boring! I'm always saying study should be fun, yeah! But it isn't! Look at me! Why do you think I need to separate my study throughout the day? Because I'd get bored if I didn't! Reps are boring! Why do you think when I use the word study I always use brackets""? Because the way I "study" is not study really. It comes all down to interest. I "study" what interests me. I "study" though internet articles for my reading skills and for interest. I study through dramas because it makes me learn not only japanese, not only japanese culture but also because it's a moment when you forget all the rest.
What I want to make it clear is that. It does not matter how you study, what really matters is that you use what you have learned. And if you use are using that means you have an interest in it, which will give you even more motivation and lead you to more "studying".
I was talking to a friend the other day and asked him "do you like studying (without brackets)?". The answer I got was "no, but I like to be able to understand what I enjoy thanks to that study". It comes all to this, the feeling you get when put what you learn to practice. That's what moves us. For myself, it's not so much being able to read that makes me feel good and happy, no, not at all, what really makes me feel happy is when I put my language skill to practice when I speak to japanese people. That's why I'm always saying I'd rather be an interpreter to becoming a translator. You won't see me really smiling until you've seen me talking to japanese people.
Yes, this is the ultimate goal, to use japanese on my daily life. Which in turn will lead me to my next point.
Emotional connection to your goal.
Whatever your goal, your purpose in life it may be, whatever, without having created that connection you most likely will fail in achieving it.
As for myself. I want to be fluent in Japanese, what kind of keeps me studying japanese, doing my daily reps, getting bored with my reps, enjoying japanese through the internet, helping out those who I like with japanese (this is actually a pleasure, I might teach something but I also learn a lot, I say this because I've always said I don't want to be a teacher, but it's not that bad after all), is my goal of one day using japanese daily in a job of some sort, preferably using oral language ie, interpretation, or working at some company where I have to speak. I'm sure you have a goal too, and since you're reading this it's probably related to the japanese language.
Be that as it may, define your goals, your concrete goals, then create a connection with it, and then work your way through it. You can do it, you just love doing it.
As for the person who is writing this, me, well, I don't know what will happen, I don't know how I'm going to be when I come back from Japan, the only thing I do know is that whatever happens, it's all thanks to you.
The japanese learner, the japanese person (anyone really), that drives me. If it wasn't for the japanese learner, I'd never get motivated to get my japanese to its level (intermediate I'd say), if it wasn't for the japanese person, I'd never have the dream of using it daily.
And if it wasn't for 浜崎あゆみ, I'd never even try to study japanese, so...
今日も一日ありがとう。
2012年9月5日
2012年9月4日
５
来週の今頃はたぶん寮で寝ている。
喫茶店へ行きたい。けど、パソコンの充電器がないんで、今はしばらくうちにいる。父のうちから来て、今は母のうちにいる。もう30分後に、また、地元の中心に通う。
今日は何をするかまったくわからない。毎日のように過ごすと思う。
昨日はデパートでのときは大変だった。お疲れさん。11時に寝て、7時に起きたのはうれしかった。
でも、わかんないなあー。ある時何も感じてないのもあったら、感情がすごい込み上げるあゆも・・・・。なんでだろっ・・・・ね？
今は朝だから、カフェインもまだ飲んでないし、 インスピレーションはたぶんまだ来てない。
30分後に、喫茶店へ行って、ツイッターを通して記事やニュースを呼んで、 またちょっと勉強して、ってことを楽しみにしてるん。あと30分だけ。
来週の今頃はたぶん寮で寝ている。
喫茶店へ行きたい。けど、パソコンの充電器がないんで、今はしばらくうちにいる。父のうちから来て、今は母のうちにいる。もう30分後に、また、地元の中心に通う。
今日は何をするかまったくわからない。毎日のように過ごすと思う。
昨日はデパートでのときは大変だった。お疲れさん。11時に寝て、7時に起きたのはうれしかった。
でも、わかんないなあー。ある時何も感じてないのもあったら、感情がすごい込み上げるあゆも・・・・。なんでだろっ・・・・ね？
今は朝だから、カフェインもまだ飲んでないし、 インスピレーションはたぶんまだ来てない。
30分後に、喫茶店へ行って、ツイッターを通して記事やニュースを呼んで、 またちょっと勉強して、ってことを楽しみにしてるん。あと30分だけ。
来週の今頃はたぶん寮で寝ている。
2012年9月3日
６
来週の今頃はもう日本にいる。
どの効果があるのかな、時差は。 これ、意外と、本当に試してみたい。 時差の効果も初めてですよ。
今日は最後に旅行のために買い物をする。 私といつも一緒リュックの中の中身を。本、ＮｉｎｔｅｎｄｏＤＳ、ＭＰ３など以外のもの。何か食べるもの、衛星のものとか。
何かを感じてる？それとも、私が書いた言葉から、私が何かを感じているかわかる？まったくわからない。 緊張？わかんない。
とにかく、日本で楽しく頑張って、日本語と自分を鍛えるべき。それが私の責任だ。
完璧さは実はしない。私の日本語、私の全てが、いくら鍛えても、自分にとって「まだ長～い道を歩くんだ」と。
だって、できる限りこの道を、歩くんじゃなくて、全力で走るんだ、と。
完璧さは実在はしない。鍛えるうちに、改善の余地がいつもはあるから。
来週の今頃はもう日本にいる。
どの効果があるのかな、時差は。 これ、意外と、本当に試してみたい。 時差の効果も初めてですよ。
今日は最後に旅行のために買い物をする。 私といつも一緒リュックの中の中身を。本、ＮｉｎｔｅｎｄｏＤＳ、ＭＰ３など以外のもの。何か食べるもの、衛星のものとか。
何かを感じてる？それとも、私が書いた言葉から、私が何かを感じているかわかる？まったくわからない。 緊張？わかんない。
とにかく、日本で楽しく頑張って、日本語と自分を鍛えるべき。それが私の責任だ。
完璧さは実はしない。私の日本語、私の全てが、いくら鍛えても、自分にとって「まだ長～い道を歩くんだ」と。
だって、できる限りこの道を、歩くんじゃなくて、全力で走るんだ、と。
完璧さは実在はしない。鍛えるうちに、改善の余地がいつもはあるから。
来週の今頃はもう日本にいる。
７
来週の今頃は飛行機の中にいる。
今日は荷物の準備をした。
まだ何も感じないのは不思議ぃー・・・・・・だって初めてですよ。日本は始めて、飛行機も始めて。母語と全然違う言語の国へ行くのも初めて。日本語だけで喋られるのも初めて。まあ、いいじゃん？全部初めてって。 たぶん、気付かないまんま何かを感じてはいる。
だって、飛行機って怖いよねって思って。
最近、すごい早い起きている。ってか、4時、5時だとか。けど、夜も早く寝るようにしてる。なんでだろう、こんなに早く起きるなんて？
最近ね、気合を入れるため、音楽を聞く。本当に気合を入れて。 最近は。 だって、こないだ、なんかの曲を聞いてたとき、歌詞を見ることなく、うわー、全部わかるって思ってた。 すごいよね。 でね、いい感じがして、強くなっちゃって。見たいな感じ。鳥肌がたつほど、いい感じ。めっちゃ強く感じる。聞いてる間。
変だなぁ、私って。
来週の今頃は飛行機の中にいる。
今日は荷物の準備をした。
まだ何も感じないのは不思議ぃー・・・・・・だって初めてですよ。日本は始めて、飛行機も始めて。母語と全然違う言語の国へ行くのも初めて。日本語だけで喋られるのも初めて。まあ、いいじゃん？全部初めてって。 たぶん、気付かないまんま何かを感じてはいる。
だって、飛行機って怖いよねって思って。
最近、すごい早い起きている。ってか、4時、5時だとか。けど、夜も早く寝るようにしてる。なんでだろう、こんなに早く起きるなんて？
最近ね、気合を入れるため、音楽を聞く。本当に気合を入れて。 最近は。 だって、こないだ、なんかの曲を聞いてたとき、歌詞を見ることなく、うわー、全部わかるって思ってた。 すごいよね。 でね、いい感じがして、強くなっちゃって。見たいな感じ。鳥肌がたつほど、いい感じ。めっちゃ強く感じる。聞いてる間。
変だなぁ、私って。
来週の今頃は飛行機の中にいる。
2012年9月1日
Motivation and power talk
Yesterday I had a tough day. If you happen not to know why just read my previous post.
Yesterday. I had a visit from an aunt and her family (husband and two kids) at night. I had the most interesting talk with my uncle. He is a teacher at Minho University. I really don't know how to start, so I'll just use points and will explain and comment on them.
1. Opportunity of a lifetime.
Take the most out of it. Ages between 19-25 will define who you are and will mold your brain. This is the time were you make the most important choices of your life.
2. You should have chosen China. BUT!
Yeah, but! But if you really like what you are doing you should continue doing it. "When I put some of my not so good students working on what they liked, they're works were far better than those of the perfect students, who always follow things according to what they are given."
3. There is always a vacancy for the best.
If you work hard, if you get to be the best through your own means, you'll have no problems finding a job. The best are always employed, in fact, companies lack truly good, the best, employees.
4. Working with the best, will make you the best.
But if you accommodate with the weak, you will become, weak. Now this is trueI will state my own experience with this. He made me think about it and I came to the following conclusion. And will give you my own example, Japanese, the skill I'm forging.
1st year. There were the weak ones, and I think there was no clear line on who was the best. Many students had high grades, so we were more or less even. This was frustrating. I'm here to be the best, I thought. We were all equal, we were all good.
2nd year. So during the summer vacation I studied. And in the second year the class began having the weak ones, the average ones, and the good ones. It was in the second year that my japanese started improving rapidly, I was focusing on Japanese, this is what I want, this is what I'm gonna do.
Eventually I started having people from my class and from other classes asking me to do and correct their japanese essays. I would only correct and give hints though.
In the second year I worked my ass of for japanese, it was hard, but I did it. And I'm gonna be brutally honest here. I became the best student in the class. But I worked for it.
3rd year. My japanese class had 3 students. When the year started I had already studied everything for the JLPT2, so I could afford to"waste" my time on "studying" things I liked, as I also did though the 2nd year - with more difficulties of course.
However, I was not motivated as I was in the previous two years. I didn't feel anyone fighting, striving to be the best, not anymore, not like in the first year where we were all equally "good".
Now, the 4th year. I'm going to Japan, I'll be in a class with people around my level, and hopefully better than me. My goal is once again to be the best. But I want to fight for it. I want to feel powerful, I want to beat my classmates japanese level. When you work with the best, you always get better. These are times when you need to stand out from the crowd, you need to be different from all the others, otherwise will be just "one more".As the person I like the most in the world would say "be ambitious"!
4. Regardless of what people say against you, keep fighting and doing what you want.
University is a jungle. But this is your life, not theirs. If they are talking against and bashing you is because they are envy and they can't face the fact that you are better than them.
This is also true. For the 3 years I was in college there wasn't one moment, one semester I wasn't bashed by some people. They always commented negatively that I was always studying, and how I had no social life. They even bashed me in front of people that they didn't even know were my friends (that's how I got to know).
Does one really need to go to the disco and drink alcohol to have a social life? Nuh uh, don't think so...
I will give even give you an example.
This friend of mine, she's actually going to study chinese to Scotland. She was one of the few who bashed me the most through my first year. Until we got to be friends. We started going to the same coffee, and eventually started studying together. Until she got to know me, my real me (the one who's supposed not to be studying all the time), and not the person she saw in the classes, she didn't respect me.
Now she respects me so much to the point that she mentioned in one chinese class that I was her role model. Not bragging about myself here, I just want the reader to see the difference in her attitude towards me after getting to know me.And she even got to see my social life, and be a part of it.
As for my answer to the "who's your role model?" question, I will not mention who it is, but the answer is pretty obvious for those who know me well. I'm sorry reader, for letting you blank.
5. Brain connectivity
The more connections our brain does, the more brighter the ideas that may rise to surface.
6. Feeling of achievement through hard work is the best.
And if you achieve something without working for it, it won't taste as good. It probably won't taste at all.
So this was it.Yesterday I could barely reply, I was only listening. It was like a university lecture. And it was awesome because I could relate to everything my uncle was saying. "Yes! I know ! I even discuss that online (twitter)". Was one of the few replies, apart the many "yes"s I returned to my uncle. Who's like the dark sheep, the guy who everyone doesn't like, the boring dude, the dude that knows too much.
I don't like to make posts one right after the other, but I had to write this one. After all, what's the purpose of a blog? ...Of my blog? To keep a log on my Japanese studies to see who I was, who I am, and who I'll be.
Yesterday. I had a visit from an aunt and her family (husband and two kids) at night. I had the most interesting talk with my uncle. He is a teacher at Minho University. I really don't know how to start, so I'll just use points and will explain and comment on them.
1. Opportunity of a lifetime.
Take the most out of it. Ages between 19-25 will define who you are and will mold your brain. This is the time were you make the most important choices of your life.
2. You should have chosen China. BUT!
Yeah, but! But if you really like what you are doing you should continue doing it. "When I put some of my not so good students working on what they liked, they're works were far better than those of the perfect students, who always follow things according to what they are given."
3. There is always a vacancy for the best.
If you work hard, if you get to be the best through your own means, you'll have no problems finding a job. The best are always employed, in fact, companies lack truly good, the best, employees.
4. Working with the best, will make you the best.
But if you accommodate with the weak, you will become, weak. Now this is trueI will state my own experience with this. He made me think about it and I came to the following conclusion. And will give you my own example, Japanese, the skill I'm forging.
1st year. There were the weak ones, and I think there was no clear line on who was the best. Many students had high grades, so we were more or less even. This was frustrating. I'm here to be the best, I thought. We were all equal, we were all good.
2nd year. So during the summer vacation I studied. And in the second year the class began having the weak ones, the average ones, and the good ones. It was in the second year that my japanese started improving rapidly, I was focusing on Japanese, this is what I want, this is what I'm gonna do.
Eventually I started having people from my class and from other classes asking me to do and correct their japanese essays. I would only correct and give hints though.
In the second year I worked my ass of for japanese, it was hard, but I did it. And I'm gonna be brutally honest here. I became the best student in the class. But I worked for it.
3rd year. My japanese class had 3 students. When the year started I had already studied everything for the JLPT2, so I could afford to"waste" my time on "studying" things I liked, as I also did though the 2nd year - with more difficulties of course.
However, I was not motivated as I was in the previous two years. I didn't feel anyone fighting, striving to be the best, not anymore, not like in the first year where we were all equally "good".
Now, the 4th year. I'm going to Japan, I'll be in a class with people around my level, and hopefully better than me. My goal is once again to be the best. But I want to fight for it. I want to feel powerful, I want to beat my classmates japanese level. When you work with the best, you always get better. These are times when you need to stand out from the crowd, you need to be different from all the others, otherwise will be just "one more".As the person I like the most in the world would say "be ambitious"!
4. Regardless of what people say against you, keep fighting and doing what you want.
University is a jungle. But this is your life, not theirs. If they are talking against and bashing you is because they are envy and they can't face the fact that you are better than them.
This is also true. For the 3 years I was in college there wasn't one moment, one semester I wasn't bashed by some people. They always commented negatively that I was always studying, and how I had no social life. They even bashed me in front of people that they didn't even know were my friends (that's how I got to know).
Does one really need to go to the disco and drink alcohol to have a social life? Nuh uh, don't think so...
I will give even give you an example.
This friend of mine, she's actually going to study chinese to Scotland. She was one of the few who bashed me the most through my first year. Until we got to be friends. We started going to the same coffee, and eventually started studying together. Until she got to know me, my real me (the one who's supposed not to be studying all the time), and not the person she saw in the classes, she didn't respect me.
Now she respects me so much to the point that she mentioned in one chinese class that I was her role model. Not bragging about myself here, I just want the reader to see the difference in her attitude towards me after getting to know me.And she even got to see my social life, and be a part of it.
As for my answer to the "who's your role model?" question, I will not mention who it is, but the answer is pretty obvious for those who know me well. I'm sorry reader, for letting you blank.
5. Brain connectivity
The more connections our brain does, the more brighter the ideas that may rise to surface.
6. Feeling of achievement through hard work is the best.
And if you achieve something without working for it, it won't taste as good. It probably won't taste at all.
So this was it.Yesterday I could barely reply, I was only listening. It was like a university lecture. And it was awesome because I could relate to everything my uncle was saying. "Yes! I know ! I even discuss that online (twitter)". Was one of the few replies, apart the many "yes"s I returned to my uncle. Who's like the dark sheep, the guy who everyone doesn't like, the boring dude, the dude that knows too much.
I don't like to make posts one right after the other, but I had to write this one. After all, what's the purpose of a blog? ...Of my blog? To keep a log on my Japanese studies to see who I was, who I am, and who I'll be.
my Dog
So. Here I am. Sitting in the usual place where I have breakfast some days a week. I've been avoiding to write about this at all costs, but it has just become impossible to endure.
Before coming here I took a long walk, wearing my sunglasses that make me look like a badass. While in fact I just wanted to hide my eyes. Now I'm here, without my suglasses, making an herculean effort not to let tears shed through my face while listening to this japanese girl called 里中なこ, who I have no clue on what she does for a living,, but downloaded her podcast anyway because it was in the "comedy" podcasts section. And again, drinking one "latte".
This is really hard you know.
Truth of the matter is that my dog has been sick for some months now. But for the past month or so that she's been getting gradually worse.
Today I saw my dog, my 10 year dog lying on my couch, shaking. and then I saw her again after lunch. I think her spirit was already not here that time. I was stiff like a rock. Don't want anyone to think I'm weak, so I usually act like I don't care, or that I'm not affected by the situation, but in fact I do care and I do am affected.
(涙が流れた。And my chin is shaky too. and my face muscles are contracting. I should put my sunglasses on.)
I have been expecting this day for some time, so this is kinda hard, but I came to get used to the idea, not intentionally, but just because.
Anyway. I'm glad I could speak to my dog before going to Japan. At least I could say goodbye.
For you, who are reading this. You probably don't know me in person. You probably couldn't care less about my dog.. But anyway. I just want you to know that my dog absolutely ruled. Even though she was small (in size) and a bit stupid (just like any dog), she was the greatest dog ever.
Before coming here I took a long walk, wearing my sunglasses that make me look like a badass. While in fact I just wanted to hide my eyes. Now I'm here, without my suglasses, making an herculean effort not to let tears shed through my face while listening to this japanese girl called 里中なこ, who I have no clue on what she does for a living,, but downloaded her podcast anyway because it was in the "comedy" podcasts section. And again, drinking one "latte".
This is really hard you know.
my dog as a puppy
Truth of the matter is that my dog has been sick for some months now. But for the past month or so that she's been getting gradually worse.
Today I saw my dog, my 10 year dog lying on my couch, shaking. and then I saw her again after lunch. I think her spirit was already not here that time. I was stiff like a rock. Don't want anyone to think I'm weak, so I usually act like I don't care, or that I'm not affected by the situation, but in fact I do care and I do am affected.
(涙が流れた。And my chin is shaky too. and my face muscles are contracting. I should put my sunglasses on.)
I have been expecting this day for some time, so this is kinda hard, but I came to get used to the idea, not intentionally, but just because.
Anyway. I'm glad I could speak to my dog before going to Japan. At least I could say goodbye.
For you, who are reading this. You probably don't know me in person. You probably couldn't care less about my dog.. But anyway. I just want you to know that my dog absolutely ruled. Even though she was small (in size) and a bit stupid (just like any dog), she was the greatest dog ever.
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